Wednesday, May 8, 2013

God hates the Lords of Salem

And so do a lot of horror movie fans. But to say in advance, I enjoyed it very much. This will be a pro-Lords write-up, just bare with me. I have a lot of points to make. I won't talk about what the movie is actually about, I'm sure anyone reading this knows that by now.

It's a strange thing with Rob Zombie. I feel bad for him. I really do. No matter what he does, he is judged SO much more harshly than most every other horror director. His critics don't just dislike his movies, they HATE them. But I ask, with all the crap horror, 100s of movies a year, is even Zombie's worst film as bad as all the stuff that Chiller shows daily? I mean, people say his Halloween II is the worse of the franchise. Really? Besides the fact that it is my favorite of the series, you really think it is worse than the dreadful Scream clone Halloween H20? Or Resurrection?

Now, to the movie itself. I don't really listen to reviews, but I like to read them to pick out little things here and there to kind of gauge the essence of a film. Even if a reviewer hates a movie, sometimes the things they hate are things I enjoy. But Lords was one of those rare cases where both the good and the bad reviews were unappealing. Most reviewers just didn't get the film at all. I read so many people say the movie made no sense, had no ending, was just jumbled images with no coherence. I went in a little scared, worried it was going to be senseless crap like Antichrist or Possession. The only reviews I've read that really GOT the movie were Maniacs Blood , Grimm Reviewz and The Basement of Ghoulish Decadence(even though he didn't like, he got it!).

To address these things. Lords of Salem is an odd film. It feels like if The Sentinel was merged with Inferno with a slight Rob Zombie flare. There is a lot of strange imagery used within. Some very cool, some very cheesy. But never at any point did I not know what was going on. It was clear it was all the effects of the curse invading the real world. Then the ending. So many people said it just ends and makes no sense. Yes, it is a bit strange in presentation, but it is very clear what happens. Then, as if to address that, during the credits is a news report that perfectly sums up what you just saw.

Then there is Sherri. People are tearing her acting up. But I thought it was perfect for the part. It is very subdued. Which a person on the edge like her, a person who has a curse making her think she is losing it, would act. I think people expect big acting with jazz hands and mood swings. But I think the slow walk into madness would be subdued and quiet. Almost like depression. Sherri was top notch and her butt looked awesome.

It's a moody, dark film with a great score. I think the only short coming, and this will probably be fixed with a director's cut, is the lack of character interaction. What I think happened was Zombie trimmed away plot to make way for imagery, when it should have been the opposite way around. I was really interested in Heidi's co-workers, and the book author who was searching for the truth behind the strange record. So all in all, I give the movie a HIGH B+. And with a few bits of character stuff added back in, it could go to an A easily. I haven't read it, but I've heard that the book has a lot more to it and really gives you a better sense of the characters.

So if you like stuff like Inferno, The Sentinel, and The Beyond, give Lords of Salem a shot.


  1. Right on man! I'm glad you liked it! I'm never sure with how horror fans will react or like Zombie's movies, but I really enjoyed this one.

    Great review!

  2. Thanks! Did you happen to cover it too? I'll add the link in.

  3. Yep, I did! Here's the link.

  4. Hey Rob,

    Thanks - Really good review. I gotta admit I didn't care for this when I first watched it, but I really feel I want to give it another chance as I've loved Rob Zombies's other flicks for the most part. Thanks again !

  5. Yeah Dick, you really should. I think it was all about expectations, and since none of us really knew what to expect, it was just a weird expierence. Im curious to see it again as well.

  6. Hi Rob,

    Gave this another shot last night and I have to admit I liked it a lot better the second time. I think it helps if you go in with no preconceived notions (like comparing it to his other movies - which I did the first time). I'm going to pick up the blu-ray when it comes out. Thanks Man !

    1. I'm glad to hear that! I think it, like most of Argento's later movies, will be a 'Gets better the more you see it' kind of film.

      Any details yet on the Blu-ray?

  7. There is no possible way I could agree with you more. Well said, presented, and backed-up sir.